I lost track of it while I was typing. I won't be able to sleep for hours now. Creepy.

Side tracked again

I was gonna write this massively profound post that deals with why husbands are the way they are and why we continue to put up with them and even love them but then I got distracted by this spider crawling on the wall in my house. It was fascinating. I am freaking terrified of them, but I couldn't look away or get up to get a shoe or anything. They have eight legs, man. Freaking creepy.

Soooo...what's up?

Yeah, so, although I knew I would be the world's worst poster, I tried this whole blog thing again. And I am, indeed, blowing it. I know there are new things going on, but none of it really seems to matter very much. I am transfering to another branch at work sometime in the near future. My husband and I are still disagreeing over stupid things. My kids are still kids. My best grown-up friend/ex-wife is moving out here in the next few months, so I am really excited about that. I am just really feeling blah about most things going on right now. It's like I cycle through phases - either nothing interests or excites me, or everything sends me over the edge. Either I am void of all feeling or I am a ball of rage constantly. It is kind of exhausting. I don't even really have anything exciting to write about but I feel really guilty about not posting in forever. What a big whiny baby I am.

Epiphany - fancy word for "NOW I get it!"

I figured out why I am so angry at my grandmother for continuing to help my sister. I found out two days ago that even though I told her in no uncertain terms that I do not want C calling my house, she has continued to do so to talk to my grandmother. I flipped out at my GM. I told her that contniuing to talk to C on my phone is disrespectful to me. GM has a cell phone that C has never had a problem using. GM told me the cell phone died. So instead of not answering the phone, or telling her not to call my house when she called on the house phone, and actually BACKING ME UP FOR ONCE, she talked to her on my phone. She doesn't understand why it upsets me. C does it to show that she has no respect for how I feel. That her feelings and needs are more important than mine. If she ever actually thought it through, that is what she would come up with. She is too self-centered to actually think it through, though, and just does however she feels at any particular time. GM does not seem to understand this. Anyway, I figured out why it gets to me so much. Even though she is constantly talking about how much she hates her and never wants to see her again, she continues helping her. Every time it comes down to it, and a choice must be made - help C and hurt N, or ignore C like she always says she will - she chooses C. She did it when I was a child, and she does it now. Talking to my mother I found out she did it to my mother as well. And her explanation for it? Well, my mother was stronger and didn't need her as much. Also, she would have time to go back and fix the relationship with my mother later. So are we aupposed to be penalized for being strong? For not being victims, we get kicked in the ass? Because I don't run to you and ask you to fix it for me, I don't rate your attention and consideration? Just because I don't break down in front of you and let you inside my pain, does NOT mean it hurts me less. Sometimes, family really sucks.

WTF?!?!

After growing up in the city, I married a country boy. After being married for a few years, I stopped fighting and went ahead with the deep freezer. Those of you from the South know what I'm talking about. Those of you from everywhere else, it is actually pretty cool. Normally, I am glad I caved. Except today. I go out to get something to cook for dinner and everything is thawed out. I mean EVERYTHING! Apparently the outlet it is hooked up to switched itself off for whatever reason. And I have no idea why. So I can't prevent it from happening again. So, not only do I have random, unexplained happenings where my house just stops working, but now I have a freezer half full of useless trash. And today was trash day, so now I have to wait until Sunday night to throw it all so it doesn't stink up my house before the next trash day. And I have to figure out what to do for dinner. CRAP!!! I guess this is a sign that I should cook dinner more often to avoid having my deep freezer stop working without me noticing until everything is thawed.

When did I turn into this woman?

Remember when you were a kid and you heard married women complaining about their insensitive husbands who didn't understand them? And you swore up and down you would never become them? Yeah, well, you will. Trust me. I love my husband dearly, but I swear sometimes I wish I could transplant part of a woman's brain into his head so he wouldn't be so infuriating. It kills me that S will one day be one of them.

Melt with you

For those of you not exposed to the Disney Channel on a regular basis, allow me to share a bit of news with you. Some teeny-bopper band has remade "Melt With You." You know the one - I'll stop the world and melt with you. My daughter has berated me more than once for changing channels while that little mini-video was playing. What is even worse than this wholesale raping of my childhood pop culture - songs I liked being remade for movies, shows I loved being turned into movies, books I adored being turned into movies (DAMN YOU Will Ferrell for playing The Man in the Yellow Hat!!! I mean honestly, Curious George?!?!? Is nothing sacred?) - is that some of them aren't that bad. I mean some things are abhorrent (see above rant regarding Curious George), but some things, like the remade Melt With You, aren't that bad. I catch myself singing along with my daughter. And I kinda like it. What is happening to me? Am I becoming a soccer mom with no recollection of my wild and crazy, anti-mainstream youth? Or is the remake actually good? I am so confused. Except about Curious George. Everyone involved in said project shall rot in horrid hells made especially for them. Will Ferrell as The Man in the Yellow Hat. As if he could EVER set up a joke for someone else to take.

Blah, blah, blah

As if dealing with my sister's mess for the past few months was not enough, now I have to deal with stupid R, my son's father. My son is gonna miss the first day back at school because his father bought him the wrong kind of ticket to come back. I am not okay with him flying by himself anyway, so I am not happy in the first place. Then, he bought a ticket that was not non-stop. If you read the fine print on the ticket, unaccompanied minors can not fly unless it is non-stop. Idiot boy R did not find this out until he took my son to get on the actual plane! Then, he claims he couldn't find a non-stop flight that wasn't $800 until Wednesday. The day my son goes back to school. Funny, I went online as soon as I got off the phone with R and found about 3 flights leaving this morning, that were non-stop and cost about $250. I guess I am just better at that kind of thing than him, huh? He also says it is my fauly in the first place, because I didn't want my son to fly out there by himself, so R couldn't buy the ticket when he wanted to. It is the most ridiculous situation, I swear. Anyway, my big question is: what possible lesson do I have to learn from that jackass so he can hurry up and get out of my life?!? I know he will be in my life because of our son, but honestly - can he grow up and become a semi-responsible human being instead of a 12 year old walking penis? I don't think that is too much to ask. Really.